so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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