You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
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Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
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You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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