you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
