all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
