I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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