You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
