I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
