Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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