honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
