So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
