My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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