he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
