**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
