No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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