he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
