I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
