the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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