so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
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I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Help. Why am I so naked?
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