so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
