I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
this hospital has no fireball
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
