He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
