Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
17 year olds will be the death of me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
