gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize