Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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