I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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