You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize