can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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