I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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