The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
