No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
