So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
