i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
