I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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