Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
