eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
