i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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