shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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