I feel great
I just peed on a car
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
