I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
