yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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