Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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