Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize