thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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