actually, I'm a sock model
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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