Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
