yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
