meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
