I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize