It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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