i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
