Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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