You don't have asthma, your pregnant
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
