Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
