what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
love makes seman taste better
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
