Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
