just survived the first fart of the relationship.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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